Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
