i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
