she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
