yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
