she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize