I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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