doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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