okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
