i just google imaged poop.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
