All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
