You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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