I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
