So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
