what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
