hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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