apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
