i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
