just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
