erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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