Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i came on her dog
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
