Do you still have your period?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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