I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
