Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
