Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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