Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
