So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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