its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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