if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
