someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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