you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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