my vag is so smooth its legendary
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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