Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
