I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
