If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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