I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
