I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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