Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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