Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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