Nicole vs. Life
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
