Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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