He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
