You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
