i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
