Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
