In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
