but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
