Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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