i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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