Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
