i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
