Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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